Money, marriage, kids

first_imgDaniel Gilbert, Harvard professor of psychology and best-selling author of “Stumbling on Happiness,” on Wednesday presented an impressive array of scientific research from economics, psychology, and neuroscience to assess his mother’s recipe for happiness.“If your mom was like my mom, she gave you more advice than you probably wanted on how to be happy,” Gilbert said, before telling the capacity audience at the Peabody Museum of Archaeology and Ethnology that “mom was partially right” in suggesting three keys for happiness: marriage, money, and children.With a photograph of his late mother on the screen behind him, Gilbert asked the audience members how many believed getting married led to happiness. He laughed when a woman in the fourth row pushed up the left arm of the man next to her. Smiling at the man with the forcibly raised arm, Gilbert nodded, “You’re right!” And so was mom,  he said.“Married people are happier than unmarried people. They are healthier, live longer, have more sex,” and do better on nearly every indicator of happiness, Gilbert noted during his lecture titled “Happiness: What Your Mother Didn’t Tell You.”Gilbert pointed out that the quality of a marriage is, unsurprisingly, closely connected to one’s level of happiness. On average, marriage “makes you happier for eight to 15 years,” making it a worthwhile “investment,” but happiness levels may diminish over time, Gilbert said. Of course, “staying in a bad marriage” makes people unhappy, he said, but people in bad marriages “get much happier after divorce.”Gilbert then turned to money, describing how people typically deny a connection between money and happiness. Gilbert explained that he’d once conducted informal research at the Boston Common, asking people if money could buy happiness. Nearly all of them responded in “Hallmark card clichés” about how the important things in life are free. Gilbert offered the audience a Cheshire-cat smile before delivering his findings: “Of course money buys happiness,” he said. “A little money can buy you a lot of happiness, though a lot of money buys you only a little more happiness.”The interplay of money and happiness is subject to diminishing marginal returns, noted Gilbert, who showed a graph revealing a correlation between the two increases at lower income levels and lower returns at higher levels. What’s the sweet spot where each dollar buys the most happiness? Gilbert cited a per capita income between $50,000 to $75,000.He then suggested that people with higher incomes aren’t spending their money on the right things. Time spent resting, for example, the dream of so many working people, simply doesn’t deliver happiness. “People are happiest when the mind is engaged,” Gilbert said, whether talking, creating, or having sex (another point for marriage). “People are [also] happier when they give money away rather than spending it on themselves.”Gilbert then discussed children, mom’s last ingredient for happiness. While people might refer to them as “bundles of joy,” said Gilbert (who has a son and grandchildren), “they’re not a source of happiness.” He displayed a bar graph showing that childless adults are much happier than parents. “Once people have kids, there’s a downturn in happiness,” he said, which isn’t reversed until the kids move out. “The only symptom of empty nest syndrome,” Gilbert said, chuckling, “is nonstop smiling.”So why do people speak so joyously about their children? Gilbert likened having kids to watching a Red Sox-Yankees game where no run is scored until Sox slugger David Ortiz hits a game-winning homer in the ninth. “One will always remember that magical, momentary ending,” but forget the uneventful innings before. “That’s just like spending a day with a 5-year old,” he said, when an “I wub you” from the child may validate all the difficult hours.“Of course we love our kids,” said Gilbert. “I never said don’t have kids,” but the scientific data is tough to refute. Mom’s advice on kids may thus leave something to be desired.Gilbert concluded his good-natured deconstruction of mom’s happiness formula with a final word: “Maybe your mother doesn’t know everything about happiness, but call her anyway.” While our mothers never considered backing up their theories of happiness with scientific data, Gilbert put his mom’s recipe under a powerful microscope, offering insights, surprises, and plenty of thought-provoking science.last_img read more

Perennial Garden Challenge

We’ve had such a warm winter that most perennials came out of dormancy early and are going like gangbusters. This can pose problems.My summer phlox, for example, would normally be a foot high in early May. But on April 20, they were two feet tall, with buds forming a month early. At least three things are wrong with that. First, air can’t move easily in dense phlox colonies, so mildew takes over and destroys the plants. Second, the taller stems are flopping over. And third, they’re beginning to cover my treasured yellow butterfly weed. My garden is out of kilter. If yours is having similar problems, here are a few things to consider. Transplanting? Dividing? Moving? Not this year! I don’t recommend digging and replacing established perennials this late in the season. And this is an especially bad year for it. Growth is soft and luxurious. Disturbed root systems won’t be able to meet the needs of all that foliage. If you must divide, transplant or move plants, reduce the foliage by half or more. And be vigilant at watering as warm weather returns. Pinching back growth (removing two or three inches of top growth from each stem) can reduce the spread of fast-growing perennials. Chrysanthemum, saponaria, veronica, salvia and lantana will respond to pinching in May. Pinching slows terminal growth and redistributes food into side branches. Your plants will be shorter. They may have twice as many flowers, too. Trimming is likely required for spreading perennial plants such as Homestead Purple verbena. The new crown growth is competing with growth at the ends of scraggly long branches. Cut off all but a 6-inch circle around the crown. Allow the new shoots to spread. The old scraggly ones can be rooted and regrown elsewhere. Thinning is removing some of the plants from a colony. I’ve thinned my phlox by removing shovel-sized groups of plants from the middle, allowing airflow and sunlight to filter in. The remaining plants’ root systems are only slightly disturbed. And by replacing fresh soil in the holes, roots reestablish quickly. I’ve never seen this procedure affect a colony adversely. Staking will be essential this summer. Not only are my phlox flopping over, but so are most other tall perennials. Staking needs to be done now, before the stems fall over. I like small tomato stakes and green yarn. The yarn is effective, yet impossible to see by midsummer. Tie it at one-third and two-thirds of the stem height. If you tie it at one-half the height, strong storms can buckle the stem. This year’s vigor may require you to do more deadheading, or removing spent flowers. Many perennials put up a flush of flowers in early summer. If those flowers are pollinated and allowed to remain, they produce seed. This uses up sugars, thus reducing or preventing more flowers. Because things are growing and flowering earlier this year, the summer flowering gaps may be longer and more pronounced. Gaillardia, phlox, veronicas, coneflowers, Echinops and some of the tall salvias will likely need deadheading to perform well all summer. One last tip: fertilize lightly this year. The extensive root systems will have access to much more fertility, causing gargantuan growth if you add lots of fertilizer. Just a light sprinkling of 10-10-10 may be all you need. Reduce soil moisture if you can. This will harden off root systems and slow growth. By hardening off plants now, they may be better adapted to summer heat. Slight wilting of tip growth in mid-afternoon is normal for most sun-loving perennials. Don’t water this spring unless you see very dry soil and wilting by late morning. read more

Why fathers have post-natal depression

first_imgHealthLifestyle Why fathers have post-natal depression by: – May 28, 2011 24 Views   no discussions Sharing is caring! By Philippa RoxbyHealth reporter, BBC NewsMen can feel the stress and responsibility of fatherhood weighing heavily on their shouldersA Gloucester man has been acquitted of murdering his six-month-old daughter, after saying he had had post-natal depression. The case of Mark Bruton-Young has put the issue of men who struggle to cope with becoming fathers in the headlines.One out of every seven new mothers has post-natal depression – but, according to the Fatherhood Institute, one out of every 10 fathers are depressed both before and after their baby is born.The peak time for fathers’ depression is thought to be between three and six months after the birth.Like women, they can struggle with the huge life changes a baby brings, says Fatherhood Institute research head Adrienne Burgess.“Hormones, lack of sleep, increased responsibility and general life stresses can apply to men just as much to women,” she said.“And if their partner is depressed, then men are more likely to be too.”Men and women who have pre-existing mental health problems are more at risk of developing depression after the birth of a child.But a father’s depression can begin during pregnancy, when relationships are already changing. Fathers can feel left out while their partner is the focus of increased attention.Association for Post-natal Illness counsellor Liz Wise says: “Women can feel they do things best, like changing a nappy or feeding.“They can be quick to criticise their partners and take over.“They don’t think about how it could undermine a man’s confidence.“In the end their partner will stop offering to help and that could lead to a breakdown of communication and then resentment.”It has also been suggested fatherhood is not recognised as a life-changing event, the way motherhood is.Ms Burgess finds it shocking that fathers are not invited to ante-natal appointments.“When the pregnancy is confirmed, the GP should invite the mother and father to come in.“We need a directive that says you should ask about the women’s partner too.“That way they can pick up if he has any issues.“Then they’re more likely to be able to assess the more vulnerable men.”Both mothers and fathers can feel tired, stressed, emotional, inadequate and guilty as a result of being depressed – but they react to those feelings in different ways, which can make picking up the signs more difficult.It is said that men with depression get mad, while women get sad.Drinking too much, self-medicating and having affairs can all be signs of fathers with depression, say experts.“Men are probably better at bullying the world around them when they are not happy, whereas women tend to internalise more,” says Phillip Hodson, fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.Research also indicates children are at increased risk of emotional and behavioural problems in families where fathers are depressed soon after the birth, the impact can be traced up to the age of 11, and boys are more affected than girls.“If you’re really seriously, clinically depressed you care about nothing,” says Mr Hodson.“Depression is the worst pain imaginable and it’s almost inevitable that someone else has to get involved to get you out of it.”The key is to access that support at the earliest available opportunity.Counselling, psychotherapy, cranial osteopathy, massage and reflexology are all seen as potentially therapeutic, as well as resting, eating properly and writing down feelings in a journal.Ms Wise says men should be treated in the same way as women.“We tell them it’s not uncommon, it’s nothing to be ashamed of and we give them as much information as we can.“Sometimes just acknowledging it works, and counselling and talking about it helps too.”Parenting charity the National Childbirth Trust has produced a leaflet for fathers, called Becoming a Parent.It says: “Remember dads can also suffer from the depression, brought on by anxiety about their new circumstances.“Don’t bottle it up. Speak to your partner and your family and friends. Find out if there are dads’ groups locally that you could meet with.”BBC News Tweetcenter_img Share Share Sharelast_img read more

Martinez destined for the top – Whelan

first_img The highly-rated Spaniard’s potential has again been underlined by Latics’ run to the semi-finals of this season’s FA Cup. There has been speculation over Martinez’s future for each of the past two summers following his success in steering Wigan clear of relegation from the Barclays Premier League. And Whelan told BBC Radio Five Live’s Sportsweek programme: “I will lose him, I don’t think there is any question about that.” Press Association Whelan has said previously that former Wigan player Martinez, 39, will eventually leave the club with his blessing but he wants him to stay as long as possible. “We have known each other and been together a long time. Hopefully that will continue,” he said “He is a top-class manager and he will get one of the top clubs in Europe. The big clubs in Europe, when they want a manager, Roberto is obviously the man. He is stone-cold brilliant as a manager.” There was a downside to Wigan’s superb 3-0 quarter-final win over Everton in that Premier League action elsewhere meant they slipped back into the bottom three. But Martinez has been involved in a relegation battle every season since he took charge at the DW Stadium in 2009 and his last two escapes have been particularly remarkable. Whelan is confident he will achieve safety again, saying: He said: “We have been there before and fought our way out of it. We are going to do exactly the same again, I hope. “We have played well all season and just had so many injuries and bad luck. “We played Everton off the park and have done that so many times this season but at times we have had up to eight players injured. It is very difficult to take that kind of punishment.” center_img Wigan chairman Dave Whelan has reiterated his belief manager Roberto Martinez is destined for one of Europe’s top clubs.last_img read more

VP Mike Pence Visits Miami as UM tests COVID Vaccine

first_img“The COVID-19 pandemic is having a tremendous impact in South Florida and across the world,” said Dr. Susanne Doblecki-Lewis, an infectious disease expert at the University of Miami who will lead the initiative. “We are testing vaccines with the goal of finding a safe and effective way to halt the spread of the virus.” The clinical trials will test a vaccine developed by National Institutes of Health scientists and their collaborators at the biotechnology company ModernaTX Inc.Prospective volunteers for the study will need to be at least 18 years old. A news release said the school plans to use community outreach and mobile operations to recruit from a wide variety of demographics. To register to volunteer, you can sign up by clicking here“We are committed to engaging people who represent the range of residents impacted by COVID-19 in South Florida by gender, age, race, and ethnicity, as well as those who are particularly at-risk because of medical conditions,” said Doblecki-Lewis. “This is how we will help ensure that any vaccine that is developed will be relevant for those who could benefit most from it.”Participants are paid for their time and inconvenience during what is scheduled to be a three-month study. Vice President Mike Pence visits the University of Miami today to discuss a possible coronavirus breakthrough.Mike Pence will visit the University of Miami, where clinical trials are getting under way on a vaccine.About a thousand people will be part of a clinical trial involving a vaccine developed by Moderna. The university’s Miller School of Medicine is taking part in the “Phase 3” trial of the vaccine.Pence will take part in a roundtable discussion with school leaders and members of the Miller School of Medicine along with researchers on what could help in the ongoing battle: https://t.co/hpMa8fMdDq— NBC 6 South Florida (@nbc6) July 27, 2020last_img read more

Former Leaf D-man Bennett Hambrook now patrols Smokies blueline

first_imgFormer Nelson Leafs defenceman Bennett Hambrook is back in the region, this time playing for the Trail Smoke Eaters after the Silver City squad acquired SilverBacks defenceman for future considerations.The 6’, 190-pound defenceman from Kimberley, has 15 penalty minutes in 20 appearances with the SilverBacks this season.In 104 career BCHL games with Trail, Prince George, Vernon and Salmon Arm, the 20 year-old has compiled seven points and 125 penalty minutes.He was named the SilverBacks’ captain to start the 2012-13 season. “Bennett is a gritty, responsible D-man who isn’t afraid to mix it up physically,” said Smoke Eaters head coach/general manager Bill Birks.“His BCHL experience and leadership qualities will resonate in our dressing room and we’re thrilled to get him.”Prior to making the jump to the BCHL in 2010, Hambrook was a member of the KIJHL’s Nelson Leafs, putting up 13 points (1-12) and 242 penalty minutes as Nelson reached the league final during the 2009-10 season.He made his BCHL debut as an affiliate player with the Smokies, appearing in 2 games during the 2009-10 season.Hambrook is expected to join the Smoke Eaters for their regular-season game Wednesday, November 21st in Penticton.The Smokies host his former club, the SilverBacks Friday (7:30 PM, Cominco Arena).Trail is fourth in the Interior Division behind front-running Penticton Vees with an 11-13-0-1 record.last_img read more